Friday, August 8, 2008

Starter Kit for the Willfully Ignorant

Ray Comfort (BANANA MAN!) posted this absolutely brilliant "Atheist Starter Kit" on his blog. There's a post about it, and it's also featured on the right sidebar.

If blatant ignorance of logical fallacies and philosophy 101 hurt your mind, I'd skip it if I were you.

In the interests of rational thinking, I'd like to post my own starter kit - for the willfully ignorant Christian! Ten suggestions for the novice trying to convert those ScArY athiests:
  1. Argue that the Bible is true because God says so in the Bible, and then use the Bible to argue that God exists. Argue that, since all atheists believe with absolute certainty that there is no God, they would have to know everything in the universe and thus be God. Quote Darwin when he says that it's difficult to believe the eye could evolve. Refuse to read anything about "logical fallacies".
  2. Argue that things look designed, therefore they must have been designed. Refuse to acknowledge that anyone has said this before. Absolutely refuse to listen to anyone talk about how "evolution" could be a "plausible mechanism" for the "appearance of design".
  3. Argue that the risks of going to Hell, and the possible reward of going to Heaven, makes being a Christian a good bet. Refuse to acknowledge that anyone has said this before. Refuse to acknowledge that other deities might exist. Refuse to acknowledge the idea of "evidence", or that it affects "odds".
  4. Quote the Bible. Often. Especially the parts that you agree with. Refuse to justify it with "evidence" - remember step 1!
  5. Believe the Bible is flawless. Do not actually read it for yourself. If anyone points out a "flaw" in the Bible, just ignore them. The Bible has to be flawless - it was written by God! Like it says in the Bible!
  6. If any atheist tells you that they used to believe in Jesus and God too, don't believe them. If they had really known Jesus Christ, like you do, they never would have changed their mind! (Also, continue refusing to acknowledge any such thing as a "logical fallacy". It's just common sense!)
  7. Reject any "facts" that contradict the Bible, which you already know to be 100% true. No matter how "well-supported" those "facts" seem to be. Expect people to make fun of you for this. No matter, you already know you're right, and they're wrong.
  8. If all of these well-thought-out arguments fail, start threatening people with Hell. Again, disregard "evidence" - Hell is bad! Anyone who ignores this wisdom must be a fool.
  9. Blame atheism for Stalin and Mao and Hitler. Refuse to admit that Christians commit violence - after all, violence is part of the atheist's basic philosophy, while no true Christian could really commit violence. (Oh, and believe that Hitler was an atheist. He had to be - he was violent after all!)
  10. Finally, keep in fellowship with other like-minded Christians who believe as you believe, and encourage each other in your beliefs. Build up your faith. Never doubt for a moment. Remember, the key to willful ignorance is to be unreasonable. Fall back on that when you feel threatened. Think shallow, and keep telling yourself that you are intelligent. Remember, an ignorant person is someone who pretends there is no evidence.
(Note: I would not have been so harsh if he hadn't been just as harsh. Most of the last bullet-point is directly substituted for what he said about atheists. And please do remember, this is about willfully ignorant Christians, not reasonable people of faith. Thank you, come again.)

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